All I want is just some love and affection

Words piercing through my skin
From those I considered my kin
‘You can do nothing’
Never knew how it was hurting
Billion motions sputter
But my mind was on buffer
By day I was breaking internally
While fading nocturnally
Build up of tension
All I want is just some love and affection

All I want is just some love and affection
But they tell me I lack perfection
And so I set in look for it
Ended up finding perfectly where I fit
And the perfection I found within
Never looked for love herein
‘you can do nothing’ no more mattered
For now need for approval no more catered
For now im whole
And no strength could drag down my soul.

‘it would be love’

The pages of this book hold witness
And today I share what it holds
It holds a clay
So delicate, it could shatter
But if your hands knew the art it could be something that matter.
Giving birth such an everblooming garden
Bowing to light , Embracing the dark-
A fearless heart, roots of amity running deep
And if your heart understood the meaning, it would be love.

The realism of the dreams hold witness
And today I share what it hold
In it holds the passion for life
To thrive pushing the limits
With stems straight but not stiff
To yeild self-pity, to embrace self-love
With kindness and selflessness
And if your heart understood the meaning, it would be love.

The bona fide of the battles hold witness
And today I share what it holds
In it holds a brave fighter
Haunted by massacre of humanity
Yet believing benevolence prevails.
Wearing terribly beautiful battle scars,
A solo fighter till the last breath
Yet believing own instinct when to pull the plug.
And if your heart understood the meaning, it would be love.

Scared

Most of the days I wake up to the scream of them. Them fighting like cats and dogs. Throwing bitter words like free candies.

And then I look at her, and I look at her with awe. A fighter with a heart overflowing with love.
Makes me wonder how someone can put up such a flawless cover, which makes her seem very happy and a person always smiling. But she is broken inside. Shattered into so many tiny pieces that it would take more than a lifetime to put them together and you could still see the dents.

Because how to sacrifice and how to love is something that she learned from her parents
And it took a lot of courage and patience for her to put up with him all these years. Trying not to let the relationship break. Trying to mend it. But never did she realise that she was just ruining her own happiness and somewhere he found happiness in that.

And now she is filled with regrets.
Regrets of how she shouldn’t have let him come back to her the second time.
How she believed that he is the right man for her.
How she dreamt of staying happy forever.
How she dreamt to transform into a queen who was raised like a princess.
How all she wanted was the love of his and his care.
How she just wanted to grow old with him.

But everything broke.
She broke into tiny pieces, far away from being recovered.

And having been grown up like this, it makes me scared. Scared to dream and to love.

Not Basic

I refuse to be one of the lot

I refuse to be ordinary

And why should I be?

Why should I lose the beauty that’s there in not being basic?

I’m not your basic bitch. I’m far from that.

Made of emotions and intellect that could awestruck you;

Of wild imaginations more satisfying than hallucinogens;

Of passion to conquer that could make you bow down;

Of innocence and kindness that could make your heart melt;

And of love that could subdue your demons.

I have fought numerous battles

Some I have won and some lost

But yet standing straight and head high

So tell me,

Why should I be any ordinary?

Hibernation

There’s a galaxy within me
with gravity so strong
that it consumes me whole.
There are days when I have to fight the numbness
The numbness which could tear me apart, and I would not even know
The numbness where I don’t feel you,
and my soul goes into hibernation.
But you see, my kind of hibernation is different ; it’s killing me from within
and I don’t have the strength to fight it, slowly losing myself

I know I’ll find myself again,

I know the sun will shine bright again,

Just today is not the day.